Eyelids drooping, soul lifting into sleep, I'm completely comfortable in Shadow. A second later I feel a rattleclack and sense a presence outside my sheet metal walls. Someone is trying to open my door! "Not again," I exclaim in silent frustration. Would these people please get a life and let me live mine for once!! Bump, jiggle, scratch, silence. I rise up to peer out the fogged front windows. I can't see anything or anyone. What just happened? I know I didn't imagine it. Oh well, I assume it's high schoolers. Sleep.
"You'll never believe what happened to Cacey last night!" my friend Josh yells out across the cubicle maze. I pop my head up above the cork board wall like a gofer in spring and ask the customary, "What?" Apparently, he came out to his car in the morning and found a syphon tube dangling like a used IV drip. Someone stole all of his gas out of his tank and left the hose in defiance! Is nothing sacred anymore?! Who steals gas, honestly? And out of a gated community? That's redicurous! (Seinfeld)
My mind races back to the previous night. Suddenly, it all makes sense. The same poser who jacked Casey tried to jank me too! Lucky for me, Toyota builds a sweet locking gas lid, so my fuel was fine. I zoomed in on the door and saw where he attempted to pry it open with a screwdriver. Can you believe that? How many gallons do you think he stole that night? That's so 1970!
Needless to say, I won't be sleeping there anymore. I've moved once again to what will hopefully be a quiet, safe neighborhood where I can hibernate for the remainder of my stint.
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3 comments:
Gas is getting expensive!! Pepes gotta do what they gotta do!
thats freakin narly man, I would have turded my pants twice!! Your the man randle. Yeah brads right, gas is expensive.
you could've scared the crap out of that poser. from now on you need to keep a loaded airsoft gun on you at all times.
... with the orange tip painted black.
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