Looking Back Before It's Too Late

Three nights left. Before I know it, this whole experience will be just a memory. No more shock and awe statements proclaiming my backward lifestyle. No more secrets. No more eating out all the time, brushing my teeth in the bushes, peeing in gutters, looking left and right before I jump into the back of Shadow, covering windows, shuffling cardboard barriers, changing clothes while laying down, holding a piss for three more morning hours because I don't want to get out of the car, pulling my wardrobe out of the trunk, melting my surfboard everyday in the Tercel, stinky wetsuits that never dry out, or malicious malcontents scratching at my doors. No more adventure. Wait! Life goes on, but from here on out it's going to be different for me. I have a whole new perspective. I know what's needed. I know what's extra. I have a respect and fear for the stories of people who live as Vagabonds through no choice of their own.

Nothing's Sacred

Eyelids drooping, soul lifting into sleep, I'm completely comfortable in Shadow. A second later I feel a rattleclack and sense a presence outside my sheet metal walls. Someone is trying to open my door! "Not again," I exclaim in silent frustration. Would these people please get a life and let me live mine for once!! Bump, jiggle, scratch, silence. I rise up to peer out the fogged front windows. I can't see anything or anyone. What just happened? I know I didn't imagine it. Oh well, I assume it's high schoolers. Sleep.

"You'll never believe what happened to Cacey last night!" my friend Josh yells out across the cubicle maze. I pop my head up above the cork board wall like a gofer in spring and ask the customary, "What?" Apparently, he came out to his car in the morning and found a syphon tube dangling like a used IV drip. Someone stole all of his gas out of his tank and left the hose in defiance! Is nothing sacred anymore?! Who steals gas, honestly? And out of a gated community? That's redicurous! (Seinfeld)

My mind races back to the previous night. Suddenly, it all makes sense. The same poser who jacked Casey tried to jank me too! Lucky for me, Toyota builds a sweet locking gas lid, so my fuel was fine. I zoomed in on the door and saw where he attempted to pry it open with a screwdriver. Can you believe that? How many gallons do you think he stole that night? That's so 1970!

Needless to say, I won't be sleeping there anymore. I've moved once again to what will hopefully be a quiet, safe neighborhood where I can hibernate for the remainder of my stint.

What you need, and what you NEED!

A new friend asked me what I've learned through my experience. "Oh, a lot of things," I trailed off as I threw my head back against the black leather cushion and stared blankly at the whirring ceiling fan. "Like what?" she insisted. Uhhh! I didn't actually expect her to force a list of brilliant points and proofs, but I knew I had enough ammo to get the gunshow started, so I commenced shooting. I admitted that my journey wasn't actually as tough as I had expected. My worst fears prior to stepping out as a vagabond were boredom and cops, neither of which have peeked their head out from around a corner yet. I proposed that my experience was one-of-a-kind, not being a fully homeless adventure because I had the security of a job and plenty of money. I just slept differently from other people. A short pause, then my mind flinched and stalled.

Like a the sound of gunfire in a suburb, the realization startled me. My eyes widened and my head lifted from the couch as I aimed for one last shot of explaining with dead-on accuracy the most valuable point of all. Genuine needs. I've learned that there are essential needs for life, but they can come in many forms. My need for shelter was met in full force, just not in the way most people would choose. The fact is, my entire vagabondish journey has had no psychological effect on me because one imperative need has been fully satisfied and is now overflowing with abundance. It's the need for social stability which shines through loving and being loved by friends, family, and Jesus Christ. Life is much more than a career, food, and a place to live, whatever those may look like. My original hypothesis was that a stable den provides a sense of belonging and security, but now I know that I was aiming at the wrong target. Stability amongst other social beings is what we NEED. Without it, there's no encouragement, forgiveness, or love.

Far From Normal

My life right now is anything but normal. I live in a car! However, the initial shock has settled out. Jonah jumped off the boat about a month ago and the waters have been pretty calm ever since. Is that it? Is there anything else to learn? Have I arrived? Have I tapped out my experience?

These days, I do my thing after work which usually consists of a lot of hanging out, dinner, and maybe some writing if I get a spare hour. Late at night I brush my teeth and spit into the bushes, look left and right, then hop into Shadow for a "normal" night's sleep. I wake up, go to work, and do it all over again. It's funny how the bizzarro, which never drains of strange to the people I tell, has become perfectly normal to me. I could honestly say that I'd be fine going until Christmas living like I am, but I won't. In the same moment, I've lost my fever for pursuing new homeless adventures. Sure, I could initiate Phase II which consists of sleeping in random places like behind fences, up on rooftops, or under bushy thickets, but why? I could do that just as easily one night a month while renting an apartment and get the same experience out of it!

I'm ready for something new and exciting in life. This adventure is coming to a close and I can't wait to see what's next.

Creative Dating

I don't know if I wrote it, but I definitely said it to a few of my friends. With a Jim-from-The Office-shrug I admitted, "I've fully prepared myself to walk through a dateless desert on my way to the other side of this Vagabond journey." I could just imagine the conversations and lies (truth stretches) I would have to conjure on the spot. "So where do you live?" she asks. "Pretty close by," I laugh as I open the door of my 4Runner for her to get in. "Let's get out of here, that homeless guy over there is looking at me?" she pulls me across the street. "You didn't run when I looked at you before I kissed you," I smirk. Ha! If she only knew...

Wait, what if she did know? If I parked my car in her garage while we watched a movie, does that mean we moved in together?! Ha, I'm joking, of course.

And still, here I am.